That new job totally sucked!

Rob was commissioned last week by a woman he used to work with at a previous school to do some translation services. At first the job looked totally sweet; all he had to do was quickly proofread some articles that were written in Chinese and English for any major errors, then record the English in his own voice so that the recordings could be uploaded to a website the following day. This was supposedly going to take him about two hours of work every night, and a small sacrifice to make for nearly a thousand dollars a month!

Well, you know what they say about things that seem to good to be true...

On the fourth day of our trial (I say our trial because by this point the workload had become so heavy that it was taking both of us the better part of the night to complete. But I'm getting ahead of myself), we thought we finally had everything down pat: I was going to handle the editing end, then hand the files over to Rob to record the voice part. Well, easier said than done.

There were too many mistakes in the editing. Oh, the editing style wasn't great. Rob speaks to fast. Rob speaks to slow. Rob speaks like a retard. Could you try speaking a little slower, but only on select words? Your voice is starting to sound a little exhasted... (This comment irritatingly added after the fourth RE-recording of one file).

A job that was promised to take only about two hours of Rob's time took us both more than five hours last night and we only finished three quarters of the recordings.

Now, just so you can see that it's not just me, I'll give you a few of the sentences that I was expected to edit. Bear in mind that these were the worst of the three writers that were on the submission team. Ironically, it's the head of the team! Ok, get ready for some bad English, here we go:

The taking out food need to have it to pack with for dinner and the late night snack the convenient plastic bag will not be forgettable to use.

...

Many people only eat vegetable without meat appetite may easily feel hungry and eat more starchy food invisibly. By this method, human body will induce severe burden with the certain causation of increasing the rate of blood sugar, especially to the chronic patients.

...

Due to the domestic rice has achieve to self-sufficiency, three month of safety deposit still remained presently and the fallow lands have run up to 220,000 hectares.

...

Anyway, that's all the complaining I'm going to be doing for one day. I'm truly grateful now that I have my nights and my boyfriend back, and we'll just have to figure out a different way of making up that extra cash necessary for the trip.

For more English mix-ups and other such fun and nonsense, check out engrish.com