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Hey, look! We're at the Hong Kong airport eating Ben & Jerry's ice cream. Coming over was a bitch, but I'll explain later, as I have exactly 12 seconds before Rob rips the computer out of my hands. Gotta run to catch my plane to London town!

almost on our way

I'm trying to take my mind off of things by blogging a bit. I'm waiting for Rob to finish getting ready, we're heading out the door soon to go down to the police department. Rob and I both have to pay our overstay fines and avoid getting put in jail. Just kidding; many people overstay their visas and out of everyone I know that has done it, only one of them has gone to jail. But he was a special case and overstayed by six years. Dumb ass.

Then we get to exchange our Taiwan dollars into British pounds, have lunch, then hop in a cab for the airport and we're off!

Cathay Pacific went and changed their baggage handling policies last minute, so it looks like we might end up paying a tremendous amount of money for the privilege of bringing an extra bag each. I'm crossing my fingers it's not too much. The hard part is they don't disclose on their website how much they'll charge. If I knew it was just a flat fee I would stuff the bags almost to capacity and just pay it. If they're going to weigh it and charge per kilo, then I can start chucking the bottom of the list items, the least important ones. Worst case scenario: they have a zero tolerance policy for overweight and make us repack the bags and send the excess on as freight.

Oh, stomach, stop somersaulting!

Great news: I got my passport, and my visa has the correct dates, and the UK visa officer dude had no questions about my visa overstay. In fact, it was so not an issue that I was tempted in the office to make it one! For all the worrying I did I might as well have just painted my hair grey.

Lesson learned; there is never any good that comes from worrying. As soon as I handed over my passport to the officer, there was absolutely nothing in my power to change anything, so whatever decision was going to be made was beyond my reach, no matter how much worrying I did.

Now, I have to pack. I have a literal mountain of clothes on my living room floor waiting to be organized into four separate bags. The challenge now is to see if I can get each bag to weigh in at under 20kg each. I might have to dump some of my old textbooks :(

Oh, and Rob is walking again. His knee seems to not be shattered, but the baby is still taking a cab to and from work (still manages to walk down the hill for starbucks, though!).

Good, great, better news

Several shots of good news got tossed at us today.

First, I get to pick up my passport from the UK visa office tomorrow. It looks like Rob was right, as usual, and the fact that I'm overstaying my Taiwan visa was of no consideration to them when granting me a date change on my UK visa.

Second, it looks like we won't have to ship anything to the UK except our computer. We are flying Cathay Pacific from Taipei to Hong Kong, which allows up to two pieces of baggage each, no heavier than 20kg each (but that's only a suggested maximum). We then transfer to British Airways for the Hong Kong to London leg, where we thought we'd be allowed one bag each, not exceeding 23kg. Rob combed the fine print of both airline's baggage policies, and it looks like British Airways respects the baggage policies of other airlines if they are included as a connection on the journey. That means they'll respect Cathay's two bags each policy. This means I don't have to throw out any clothes, WOO HOO!!

Third, the man we are going to stay with in Brighton asked me today, tentatively and apologetically, if it was OK if Rob and I sign a letting contract, as he doesn't know us except through emails and wants to cover his ass. I thought it sweet he should be so timid about it, as the contract is the only thing we absolutely need if we want to get phones right away, or bank accounts. Absolutely exciting.

I suppose this means I actually have to pack now? Nah, I'll leave it to the weekend!

Oh! Caffeine, you DEVIL!

I knew I shouldn't have had that second cup of tea. I'm wired on caffeine with nothing to do, and after three hours of solid work on the computer writing report cards and kindergarten speeches, I should be somewhere else. Like a zen garden, meditating. I feel a bit like I just took my best friend's last Ritalin, and he's passed out in the bedroom while I'm out in the living room on my roller coaster. I mean laptop.

I had procrastinated for nearly a week, trying to get out of doing the last of my teacher duties. It's hard to believe that a week from now I'll say goodbye to my title Teacher Cody (no, not Mr. Rothery, that would imply I'm qualified to do this!). No more report cards, speeches, tests, words of blessing, kissing butt to the parents, saving my butt from the director, explaining what a butt is to my Chinese assistant teacher... It will all wash away on the flight to London.

Nine days to go until we leave Taiwan. The apartment finally burst from anticipation today, and our belongings are scattered throughout. We have the good fortune that our room mate has been away in Turkey for a week and won't be back until the day we leave (we'll probably meet in the airport crossing paths, actually), so Rob has decided the best way to pack is to lay everything out in a swath on the floor to get a visual. The mountain of clothes is intimidating; I don't want to throw anything away. Clothes are expensive, and some of them hold sentimental value, so I'm torn; I also want to wash away this sloppy image of myself I've created here and want to start fresh in England. I would definitely be embarrassed walking around London dressed the way I dress here.

When we first knew that we had a tight baggage restriction, our first impulse was to ship everything that wouldn't fit in our ONE bag each. The British Airways luggage allowance is 23kg per checked bag, but they also only charge £75 per extra piece, which is about the same as shipping. The major benefit is of course having the bag when we get there, and not having to wait around for the postal services to get it to the UK. Plus, we get to keep our bag, whereas if we chose to ship, it would be contents only. I'm a little concerned with being at the other end. Will public transit allow us to travel with so much luggage on hand? Given my recent experiences with the rules and regulations the Brits like to follow, it wouldn't surprise me in the least if there was a luggage restriction on public transit.

Oh, speaking of which, I wrote a nice letter to the folks at the UK Visa office and explained my visa situation to them. They were very understanding and told me to come in with my passport and I could have my visa changed. As far as I know I don't have to pay any extra fees for this. I only hope they don't have issue with the fact that I'm officially in visa overstay mode. Rob said I shouldn't worry, though; they granted me a visa, all they are doing now is extending the date. My current Taiwan visa issues shouldn't be a concern. Cross your fingers for me, I think I'll find out tomorrow.

When in Rome...?

The old adage 'When in Rome, do as the Romans do' may have worked well for those visiting the Holy Roman Empire at it's peak, as those were dangerous times, and may still work for some travelers even today. I admit, I tried my best to fit in in Taiwan; I ate local food from street stalls and markets, I took public transit, I even started to learn Chinese - and managed to learn just enough to get by in most situations, like what to do in a taxi when you think he's driving you around, or in a restaurant when you're pretty sure that "vegetable" once had eyes.

After some time living in a strange culture, one naturally adapts to their surroundings, and some will even adopt mannerisms, good or bad, that stick with them for years after the experience. Whether it be out of survival or comfort or something else altogether is neither here nor there, but no matter how many strange customs I come across, there are some that never stuck to me.

First, public nose picking. Really, people? Even behind a hand, I can still see what you're doing! And also: it's disgusting!!
Second, plastic blue flip flops. I totally accept inexpensive ten-cent footwear on the extremely poor, but I've seen people get out of Mercedes wearing these awful night market plastic sandals.
Third, budging in line. Had I not grown up in Canada, I might take budging in line as part and parcel of daily living in a crowded urban environment, but I was raised in what I consider a civilized society and some things are just universally rude to me. Budging is near the top of the list. Nose picking, a close second.

I've had plenty of time to reminisce about the past four years in Taiwan, and now that I have less than two weeks until we leave for England, I'm trying to sum it up here on the blog. Part of it is that I want to feel like the time we've spent here hasn't been a total waste, that I'm coming out the end of it a little older and a little wiser. I suppose I can only count myself as wise if I take what I've learned here and don't repeat mistakes.

One of my only regrets, and I don't have many, is that we never traveled the island very much. Apparently, the rest of Taiwan is very beautiful, so it's unfortunate and unfair that the view of Taiwan that will remain in my mind is of an overcrowded, polluted city, when it's hardly representative of the whole country.

I am trying to get in what I can, though, in my own little corner of Taiwan. I've been eating some things I'm pretty sure I won't get anywhere else, like onion pancakes and bubble tea (I had the bubble tea in Canada, and it's just not the same as where is was invented!). I've also been hiking up Tianmu Trail on a semi-weekly basis, which winds steeply up the side of the mountain, and the photos here and in the post above are from my most recent hike (um, I mean, stair climb). Make what you want of them, as they're pretty self-descriptive. Butterflies, dragonflies, trees, mud, palm trees, heat. Yep, that pretty much sums up Taiwan: bugs, mud, and heat!

There are days, though, when I don't feel like climbing a mountain in 35 degree heat, so I climb the semi air conditioned stairwells at the mall. No joke. Takashimaya, the mall nearest my apartment, is 12 storeys, not including the 5 levels of basement, and each floor has two flights of stairs. Four times up and down amounts to 96 flights of stairs in 20 minutes; and yes, my butt still hurts!

A FLAT!

Well, it looks like we found a flat, for real this time! The location is absolutely perfect: two minutes walk south and you're at the sea, and two minutes north you're in the centre of one of the funkier shopping/eating districts, the North Laines. So great. Also, the rent is only £500, bills included. We're going to pay twice as much for a bedroom in Brighton than our three bedroom flat in Taipei, but it will be well worth it. In addition, the guy who owns the flat is a gay; could be a problem, I heard that gays are shit roommates. Check out the video of the flat he kindly shot for us. Our bedroom will be the big one, thankfully.

Yes, the flat is in need of a major decoration overhaul. I'm prepared to put in some hard labour to get the rooms up to a suitable living condition as long as he's ready to buy supplies. And gin!

Ed. note: We've removed the video due to privacy concerns. Anyone wishing to view the video may request so via email. Thanks!

goddamnmotherfuckincocksuckinpricks

This is a little frustrating, but I'm taking it in stride. I'm really tired of dealing with visas and passports and work permits and government officials. Really. Hopefully it will all be over soon... Ok, so here's what happened today:

My work permit/visa/ARC (alien resident card) for Taiwan expires on Friday, and according to the immigration website I can get a 1 year extension on the visa. I had all the necessary documents, went in to the office and applied for the extension. Ok. The officer was very helpful and everything went smoothly; he had stamped and dated everything in the right places, switched my visa into my new passport and everything was great. That is, until he made me photocopy my work permit letter. I came back from the photocopier, and as he was scanning the documents a final time he noticed that the work permit letter from my school was the one I had used last year, and that in order to get an extension on my visa I would need to get a new letter, a new health check and THEN reapply. Of course, this is ridiculous, because that is the process for getting an entirely new visa, not an extension of a current visa. And also that process takes one to three weeks, whereas I have only three days until the ARC expires. When I told this to the officer he shrugged, like, "Sorry, pal, I don't make the rules."

My boss is currently researching the internets and calling officials to see if anything can be done. I'm not holding my breath. What will I do if it expires? Well, one option is to leave the country Friday night and come back Saturday on a visitor's visa, which will cost me hundreds of dollars. Another option, although highly frowned upon, is to overstay my visa. I'll end up having to pay about $100 fine, plus I'll have a nasty stamp in my passport, which might make entering the UK rather tricky. Hopefully the UK visa officials don't read my blog. Or if they do, they take my story into consideration and let me in.

Cross your fingers.

Did they screw it up?

I got my visa the other day, right? And I should be ecstatic about it, but I noticed the dates in the visa were a little off what they should be, I'm a little worried and therefore less than ecstatic. Here's my issue: I received a two year visa, but I won't be traveling for another month, which means that the visa will only be valid for 23 months. If I want to apply for a permanent resident visa down the road, which I think I will, I need to have lived in the country for two years. That's 24 months. I can't apply for the visa more than 28 days in advance, which makes me short by 2 days. I can apply for an extension on my visa to cover the two days, but that will cost me £395 ($797CDN).

This is a mistake. I hope it is. I stated clearly, both in writing on my application and verbally in my interview that my intended travel date is July 30. So why does the visa expire on July 1? I want to believe that this is an honest, correctable mistake, and that the visa officers aren't just f*cking with my head. Could it be that when I do actually travel, the immigration officer will stamp my passport and my date of entry to the country will be my actual beginning of my visa? I've written to the visa office here in Taipei to ask that very question. I'm holding my breath.

Rolling ball of momentum

Today was the day of my final interview with the *lovely* people at the British Trade Office, and the final step in the application process for my UK Settlement visa. The interview was conducted by a very large, cold and angry man with an uncanny resemblence to Phillip Seymour Hoffman, but with a muddled Scotch/Welsh accent (I think?). The interview itself was every bit as terrifying as I expected it would be. The mean man made me felt like a convict, like I was filth and how very DARE I even attempt immigrating to Britain. The questions were more difficult than any job interview I've ever had, and I've never known my palms to sweat like that. He made me describe the beginning our relationship, what we planned on doing for work in the UK, what we would do if plans didn't work out and who I thought would bail us out of catastrophe. In the end, after all the hard questions were out of the way, he looked at me sternly in the eye, crossing and uncrossing his fingers in contemplation and said, "Well, I have no troubles issuing you a visa today." And then he chuckled.

He KNEW! The whole time I was sitting there in a sweaty wreck he KNEW it and he LOVED it! I bet the Home Office specifically hires only sadistic bastards with a thorough past in psychological torture. We joked around a bit while we were closing the interview, which was relieving and infuriating at the same time.

In other news, Rob got a new job today. He starts tomorrow at a school called AlphaBeta, which is my old school, and will work until the end of the month. Great news for two reasons: this adds a little more to the coffers, which by my calculations works out to be about a month of living costs in the UK. Also, this gets him off my back so I can pack the house in peace!

Also, we may have already found a flat to rent in Brighton with a lovely girl from Prague, who may or may not be an illegal alien. I didn't ask, her English was passable so I thought it rude to ask if she was there legally. Not that it's any of my concern in the longrun, I just like to know who I'm dealing with. The flat (apartment for you Canadian folk) is a bedroom in a house about 15 minutes walk from the center of Brighton, all bills included for £600 per month (just over $1200CDN per month. For a bedroom in a house. Yikes). Want to see if it's worth it? Check out the pics she sent me. I tried to put them below this, but they are above. Up there, you've seen them already, and now you know what they are!

Well, I'll try to blog more often now that we are for sure moving to England at the end of the month. July is going to go by fast, so stay tuned for more updates!